I can hardly begin to express my emotions or talk about what I’m going through right now. I’m dealing with some insane stuff with one of the closest people in my life, whom I love more than anything. I would give up everything I have to fix things for this person, but I cannot do a thing to fix it. I’m helpless in this situation. It’s one of those times where you pray to God so intensely that you get on your knees and beg him to fix things. They are still not getting fixed. So, here I sit, not knowing what the future holds, not knowing how this will ever be better and feeling pretty shitty about all of it. Life is hard. And I don’t believe for one minute that it’s just hard for me. I doubt that I’m special. I think life is this hard for everyone.
The big question is, what do we do about it. Now, I know that in some situations, we can fix our hardships in our lives and get rid of them. But in cases like I’m going through right now, we can’t fix them. We are left to deal with them. And so I repeat, life is hard, sometimes insanely hard. And often times, we can’t do a damn thing about it.
It’s a situation where you learn who you really are. I’ll tell you who I really am. I’m a Christian who trusts God. I trust that this is His plan, even though I want to pull my hair out (if I had any). I want to kick and scream and yell and cry and swear with about 127 f-bombs in a row. That’s how frustrated, mad and sad I am about this. But, I trust God. I trust that this is His plan and that even though I want to go crazy and yell about how terrible this is and how wrong is it to put us all through it, I give it to Him and throw my hands in the air. That’s who I am.
And I go on living. I have problems that I face every day. I have hopes and dreams. I have sadness, anxiety and fears. My life is easy sometimes. I am very talented, very smart and very caring. I have some really great things going for me. I also have weaknesses and flaws. Over these past few years, I’ve learned a lot about myself and my ability to live with my flaws and embrace my gifts and talents.
To deal with life being hard, I learned to fight. Fight for what I care about and fight for the person I WANT to be. Who cares who you have been, who cares how many times you have screwed up, who cares how many weaknesses you have or how many flaws you were born with. We all are here for a reason. I believe God has a plan for us all. Join me in getting up, dusting yourself off, planning out who you REALLY want to be, and ACTING.
Life is hard. We all need to deal with it. Let’s not sit here in denial, saying that life is a piece of cake. If you think life is a piece of cake, you have another thing coming. You haven’t been through anything yet and I’m actually scared for you. Life will smack you in the face at some point, trust me.
But it’s not all bad. My smacks in the face have made me into a better person. Without having hard times, without getting hurt, without feeling absolutely terrible about yourself, one doesn’t have the motivation or drive to become a better person and make a difference in the world.
Tonight, I’m going to leave you with one last rant. And that is:
Don’t ever give up. Don’t let anyone tell you that your a failure, a bad person, flawed, dumb, ugly, fat, short, incapable, untalented, nonstrategic, shallow, or a member of a group of people. You are only you. There is no one like you. They have no idea how much fight you have in you, how much fire you have deep down and how much ass you can kick. You are perfect just the way God made you. You are NOT what they think you are, feel you are, believe you are. Don’t give up. Get up, dust yourself off, kick some serious butt. Go.
Live your life the way you believe you can and be who you know you can be. Life is hard. Deal with it by being you, believing in yourself and giving it all you freaking got. And if you have faith like me, trust God and no matter what happens, everything will be okay. It’s all I know to do among all this madness and uncertainty.